


please love me always

by ramuuuda



Category: Dragalia Lost (Video Game)
Genre: Adorable Hein, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chelle!!!, Cleo owns a bakery, Curran is soft, Drunk Heinwald, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hein cannot social, Help, Kiss already ugh, M/M, Mutual Pining, Parties, Pining, Soft Curran, boyfriends!, but they love each other - Freeform, bye i will yeet myself outta here, cant believe im writing this, cheeky!cleo, chelle k n o w s, cleo mom friend, euden is done, for hein, i love chelle, kiss, luca is enthusiastic, ok, sleepy hein, slight angst, so its fine they kiss and make up, supportive cleo, they kissed!, they're in love, they're just confused, y'all its finished ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:54:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22681282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ramuuuda/pseuds/ramuuuda
Summary: The double doors open and fresh air hits them, cool and crisp. Curran inhales and sighs again. The night was clear, but his mind and heart were fogged up with so many thoughts of Hein himself, he’s afraid he’ll never find the way out.He’s not sure if he even wants to.or: drunk!hein only confesses when he’s, well, drunk and curran doesn’t know what to do.
Relationships: Curran/Heinwald (Dragalia Lost)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 47





	1. sip of liquor

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Midaresneku](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midaresneku/gifts).



Heinwald is drunk.

The party was in full swing, loud music and chatter filling the room with bits and pieces of cheerful laughter floating around.

And...Heinwald is drunk.

Was it because they solved a cold case where everyone had given up hope? 

Was it because of the way the kids clung to his long, sagging coat with grateful tears and giggles when they ran back to stop the execution, sweaty but beaming? 

Was it the look of pride Curran had when Hein turned to him with a blush on his face, holding onto a child’s hand?

Curran hoped it was him.

‘Curran, that made no sense.’ Hein’s soft, deep voice reminded him in his head.

He focused back onto his partner — he has never seen him drunk, or even drink, actually. He hadn’t even thought of Hein and liquor in the same room. 

But thinking again, Hein’s a nobleman. He must’ve drank before... right?

Heinwald was on his chair, coat hanging half off his shoulders as he takes small, tentative sips of whatever’s in his glass, his face getting redder, observing a group of people intently. 

He emits a giggle.

Curran is seriously questioning rather to continue being a silent wallflower in the comfort of their friendgroup or going up to deal with a Heinwald that he is ...rather unfamiliar with.

Curran sighs. Has Heinwald even drank before?  
He has absolutely no idea.

He takes one more fleeting look at Hein’s face, head slightly drooping now, cheeks tinged reddish-pink, a small smile on his lips.

His heart threatens to crawl up his throat in a turmoil of confessions he would definitely stumble over.

He sighs again and excuses himself from the group. He’s tired and he should be a good partner and bring Hein home. 

Because he’s a good partner. Yep.  
As simple as that.

‘Or is it?’ Hein’s voice floats over again, and he thinks that he’s definitely thinking too hard today.

He approaches him, and Hein looks up when the familiar click of shoes comes closer. He tips his head up slightly, tilting to a side. His glasses are droopy, and his eyes are blurred with the daze of intoxication.

‘C-Curran,’ He slurs.

Curran sighs. Hein was mysterious on a daily basis, but drunk Hein was a mystery he doesn’t know if he wants to solve. Even if it was adorable.

He shakes his head. He was being a good partner. Not solving... the mystery named Heinwald, slouched in a pretty heap before him.

‘Curran,’ He slurs again, more demanding this time.

He looks so cute. Curran takes a deep breath.

‘Yes, Heinwald?’

He mumbles something.

‘Hein, nothing coherent just came out of your mouth.’

‘I-I said, m’sleepy. ... return home.’

Alright, that’s slightly coherent now. Curran sighs again and stretches his hand towards his partner. 

He tries to ignore how soft his hand feels in his and pulls Heinwald up but he stumbles, groaning.

Curran sighs. He slips an arm around Hein’s (surprisingly small) waist and walks with him, slowly, giving a nod of acknowledgement to their friends. 

He waves to their clients awkwardly with the weight of Hein on him. They smile back gratefully and sends them off with bows and another round of thanks. 

The double doors open and fresh air hits them, cool and crisp. Curran inhales and sighs again. The night was clear, but his mind and heart were fogged up with so many thoughts of Hein himself, he’s afraid he’ll never find the way out.

He’s not sure if he even wants to.

Hein mumbles something into his shoulder.

‘What did you say?’

‘Curran,, can’t walk... carry.’

He swears his heart lurches so hard, his chest hurt.

‘What?’

Hein snuggles into his side and mumbles, ‘Carry.’

They stand there, under the moonlight, the cool breeze sifting through Heinwald’s long hair, his fringe sweaty and plastered to his red cheeks, and Curran’s face is burning. 

Wordlessly, he picks him up and drapes him over his back. 

Heinwald is light, snuggling into the crook of his shoulder with a small sound of satisfaction, and Curran’s cheeks feel too hot, even in the wind.

They’re halfway home when he feels Heinwald’s lips under his earlobes, his breath warm with some scent of fruity alcohol that wafts off him.

Halfway home when he hears the whisper of the soft, deep voice that resonates in his head. 

Letters that makes his hopeful heart stutter, letters that leave his confused heart in shambles.

‘Curran,’ He had whispered, with a hint of a whine in his voice, ‘Love you.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wrote this and when i realised it’s 1am oh well  
> love hein and curran they’re so smol and cute and SJXJIAHDKAIAIA UGHHH I LOVE THEM
> 
> so please dont,, kill me🥺✋🏼 hehe


	2. sober thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When they return and Heinwald bids goodbye to him, he walks off with a small smile on his face.

Curran is confused.

The next morning was a painful whirl of hungover Hein and his overflowing feelings.

‘Curran.’ 

He responded will a small sound of acknowledgement.

‘Where are my potions for headaches?’

Curran sighed. ‘Did you come all the way here to ask? I left them on your bedside table. Next to your glasses.’

Hein hummed. ‘I did not see them. Did you put them in the right place?’

‘Did you put your books on the bedside table right after you woke up?’

‘...’

‘Well, Heinwald?’

‘Perhaps I should go check again.’

And with that, he was gone, jacket flapping, the soft pads of his footsteps fading.

Nothing. No hints. Nothing about what he whispered to him last night, not even questions on how he arrived home.

But it was Heinwald. He probably already deduced how he woke up safely in his bed. As for last night...

Curran groaned and dropped his head onto the desk. 

—

Curran finally has a day off and he’s content with strolling for a bit, enjoying the day. 

He walks around the Halidom, Luca waving enthusiastically at him where they’re building a cottage for a small family. He helps out for a bit, chatting to Luca and Sarisse, and informs Luca that the apples were on sale now.

The weather was nice, some sunshine giving the Halidom a warm glow. He passes by Cleo’s miniature bakery and helps out at the cashier after Cleo waves and groans about how she’s stuck on a recipe for Maribelle. 

Someone enters and wanders the shop, but he’s too busy listening to Cleo’s crash course on how to bake a sweet pastry. He’s going to try that out later.

He also gives her some advice on relaxing since he knew nothing about baking, obviously, and looks up to the customer when he hears footsteps approaching the counter.

‘Heinwald.’

His partner nods at him and dismisses his shock, turning to wave at Cleo instead. 

Cleo pokes her head out of the kitchen and waves. Curran stands and watches the situation unfurl.

‘Hello, Curran.’

‘Hi,’ He replies, staring down at the collection of small sweet and savoury pastries Hein has on the counter. ‘You have plans?’

Hein hums in affirmation. ‘With you.’

‘Huh?’

‘Yes, Curran. With you.’

Curran stands there, blinking up at Heinwald.

‘With me? Are you shure you’re not mishtaken?’

Hein stares at him while his face reddens from stumbling over his words. A small smile lifts his lips.

‘Yes, Curran. We are going to the cliffs to sit near the lake.’

‘We’re going out?’ Curran’s not sure if his hearing is working.

‘That is because I very rarely leave my study. I have to walk around more.’

‘I-Ishn’t that what I keep reminding yo-‘

‘Yes.’ Heinwald cut him off and forces the rupies into his hand. ‘Now handle that and let us depart. I will be waiting for you outside.’

He swiftly turns on his heels with a wave to Cleo.

The door to the bakery closes with a soft thud and Curran’s still standing there, confused and smitten. 

Cleo pops her head out of the kitchen again, waving him off. ‘Go to your boy!’ She whispers with a small wink. 

Curran stumbles out of the bakery with his heart beating loudly in his ears.

They end up devouring all the pastries while sitting near the cliffs, the soft glow of the sunset glinting of Hein’s glasses, shrouding him in a warm, orange light. Curran’s relaxed and Heinwald looks adorable under the sun, arguing with him about mushrooms, brows furrowing. 

He huffs out a laugh and smiles.

When they return and Heinwald bids goodbye to him, he walks off with a small smile on his face.

He hears Elly from the corridor behind him.  
‘Hey, Heinwald. I thought you were busy today. Didn’t you say there was a case you had to handle?’

His partner’s response was... weird.

‘Hello, Elisanne. I can handle that tomorrow. I had... plans today.’ 

Curran isn’t sure how he should feel about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAA I WROTE THIS IN ANOTHER HOUR IM SO EXCITED ABT THIS FIC 🥺🤍 i love hein and curran ;<<


	3. you taste of champagne

The way Heinwald said ‘Love you’ is never far from his mind. 

It’s another party this time, Chelle holding one in guise for them to come solve a case. Euden’s there to make the whole thing look real, of course. He’s going to be attending to the crowds while they snoop around for the truth. 

Chelle asked them to stay at her kingdom in case investigations led them deep into the night. Heinwald was thrumming with energy. He’s been waiting for a case even if he just solved one that morning. 

Curran simply smiles exasperatedly at his partner, who’s tapping his foot impatiently. He’s adorable.

Curran is smitten.

Once they solve the case, Heinwald sways and turns to Curran for a high five, with shocks him so much he just stares. Heinwald smiles and reaches for his books instead. 

The case was quite intriguing. It was some manipulative nobleman who caused mass panic by committing serial murders that seemed to be serial suicides. 

Chelle, ever the drama queen, arrests the nobleman during the party as a climax. Heinwald and Curran just watch her take charge as they inform Euden of the details. Euden just takes a long drink from his champagne flute and sighs. ‘The nerve of the nobles,’ They hear him mutter. 

Chelle hands Heinwald a glass from the table as they discuss her dragon and the information they gathered for them beforehand. 

Curran turns away quickly and continues his conversation with Euden. 

The way Hein whispered ‘Love you’ floats at the back of his mind.

—  
Chelle has their rooms in the south wing and she tells them to have a good night before she returns to her business of socialising.

Stepping out to the veranda, he lets the cool air clear his head and sighs. He didn’t drink today, but his thoughts are muddled and filled with want for his partner, he feels like he’s becoming insane from the intensity of it. 

He sighs and returns to the ballroom. It should be late enough for him to leave. He bids goodbye to everyone he knows, and Chelle, dancing with Euden while discussing the state of the Halidom, gives him a small wave. 

He’s this close to the doors leading to the south wing when he feels a hand on his sleeve.

‘Curran,’ Heinwald slurs. 

It’s been two months and 5 days. Curran hasn’t been counting, of course. He hasn’t.

But this is what he was avoiding. He doesn’t know what to do. 

Heinwald tugs lightly on his sleeve. ‘Curraaan,’ he mumbles. ‘Leaving?’

Curran sighs.

‘Yeah.’ 

Hein tugs on him again, his face burying into his arm. He mumbles something.

‘What?’

Heinwald turns his head and presses his burning cheeks against Curran’s arm. 

‘Carry,’ he whines. ‘m’tired.’

Curran swears he was just being a good partner. He was not ‘extremely soft for Hein’. Whatever.

He pushes the doors open and drags a protesting Hein out into the corridor. He turns to look at him only after the doors are closed.

And oh, he’s so beautiful. 

His face was tinted in an adorable flush, hair fluffy, eyes closed with a small smile, clinging onto his arm.

Curran’s heart beats a little faster.

He tugs Heinwald up so he’s cradled against his chest, glasses and hair smushed into his shoulder. Hein mumbles something.

Curran sighs and heads up the stairs to the second floors. 

He locates Heinwald’s room and lays him on the bed, Hein making whiny noises when he puts him down. Curran feels his face getting red, but he ignores it in favour of moving Hein’s books to the night stand and removing his glasses. 

This time, Curran places the potion for headaches and his glasses on top of the books. He hopes Hein remembers the next morning.

He takes Hein’s coat off and hangs it up but does not touch the rest of his clothing. He takes Hein’s shoes and socks off then returns with a cool cloth for his face. Hein sighs and snuggles info the blankets.

Curran wishes to hold him. He stares, trying to burn the image of him into his memory.

He turns to leave.

Heinwald mumbles. ‘Curran.’ 

He sounds a bit more demanding and slightly bratty and whiny, but Curran’s so soft for him anyway. He turns back immediately.

Heinwald... is making grabby hands.

‘What do you need?’ He asks, turning around and looking. He grabs a glass of water and hands it to Hein anyway. Hein takes a sip and continues making grabby hands. 

Curran’s confused now. ‘What is it?’ 

‘Stay,’ Heinwald slurs. He then pats the empty side of the mattress. 

He stands there, looking at Hein’s cutely tipped head and barely opening eyes.

Curran sighs.

He sits down on the bed next to him. Hein snuggles into his side.

He doesn’t forget how warm Heinwald feels. He doesn’t forget the way his drooping gaze locked onto his. He doesn’t forget the way Hein tugs him down so he can lie next to him. 

He doesn’t forget the light pressure of Hein’s lips on his, the taste of champagne on him, the way he whispers ‘I love you’ against his lips.

He doesn’t forget they way his heart threatens to burst out of his chest, longing lodged in his throat.

But Heinwald’s gone in the morning. Not a trace of him left except for the slightly warm side of the bed. Nothing.

Curran doesn’t want to cry. That isn’t what he wants most.

Heinwald is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wrote this yesterday at 1am hehehe  
> HERE WE GO aaaa tHE KISS!
> 
> \+ thank u for the nice comments 🥺💕


	4. whiskey kiss

It keeps happening. Curran is so in love, he doesn’t even know what to do with himself.

He’s in so deep it’s ridiculous.

Every two months. It happens. Every two months. 

(Curran... hasn’t been counting.)

Of course he hasn’t. 

It’s almost been a year of drunk confessions from Heinwald. 

He remembers each and every one vividly.

He remembers being tired but still dragging Heinwald back to his study. Hein mumbling ‘Love youuuuu...’ when he drops the drunk, sleepy man unceremoniously onto the bed then passing out on the couch.

He remembers finding Heinwald tipsy, softly mumbling something about mushrooms near the cliffs where they sat. He pulled him up and walked him home, Hein’s hair brushing his arm when he giggles and slurs a ‘luv u’ dazedly. 

He remembers a depressed, drunk Heinwald, holding his family picture, a glass on the table. He remembers Hein asking to hold his hand and he sits right next to Hein until he falls asleep with small sniffles, right after mumbling a ‘love you’. 

Heinwald... is never there in the morning. 

Then it’s radio silence. No hints. Nothing. 

And after two months, it happens again.

Curran is tired.

Dragonyule is approaching. It brings joy and cheer to the Halidom, the anticipation of the people floating in the air, heavy like the snowfall. It brings promise of celebration and festivities, parties, dancing, and food. 

It bring promise of Heinwald and Curran’s inevitable interactions.

Curran has been busying himself by helping with the Dragonyule preparations and Cleo with cleaning and organising the bakery.

The weather was beautiful. The clear air cold and crisp, slightly stinging wind and heaps of snow dusts the kingdom. 

He allows himself to enjoy it.

Returning to the cozy warmth of Cleo’s bakery, he sits on the log behind the cashier and leans against the wall. 

The wood is warm and smooth, and he lets out a small sigh. 

He avoided Heinwald for a week under the excuse of work, but with the research he has going on about shrooms, Heinwald probably wouldn’t even notice. 

They have the Dragonyule party in two days.

Curran sighs.

—

Chelle is here, looking as fancy as ever with her hair up, Dragonyule dress. Euden’s making a speech, hair combed back with a red scarf. Ranzal and Elly next to him up there, watching him proudly.

Cleo’s busy with her baked goods, laying the last of the Dragonyule cakes down. She has bells in her hair and a cream coloured sweater on. It looks very Cleo.

Everyone’s so happy.

He doesn’t want to have conversation today.

He quickly scans the room, locating the bar, and moves towards it. He orders whiskey and throws the shot back, immediately asking for another one.

It’s his turn.

—

Curran blinks groggily.

Is this his bed? He has no idea. 

He tries to turn.

He feels silky hair on his face and lips on his neck. His head swims and he panicks when he feels arms around his waist and weight at his side and-

no, no, no, no.

This wasn’t how he wanted it to go.

He thinks hard with the pain in his head and he remembers crying, remembers holding onto Heinwald, remembers his kisses with traces of whiskey, remembers him saying ‘I love you’, flushed and shaking, wrapped around him.

The familiar ache in his heart intensifies and clashes with the cold, swirling pit in his stomach. He wants to cry. He doesn’t want Heinwald for one night. He wants Heinwald forever.

He doesn’t want Heinwald to love him when he’s drunk. Only when he’s drunk. He wants to love Heinwald everyday, every second of his life. He wants to wrap him up in his arms and hold him, love him, so much until he won’t ever forget his love.

But Heinwald only loves him when he’s drunk.

He lies there feeling colder than the snow outside.

He doesn’t open his eyes.

Not even when the warm arms retract from his waist and the bed dips and leaves an empty space.

Not when he feels a light, fleeting touch on his face.

Not when he hears a potion vial being placed onto the bedside table.

He misses Heinwald already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took me so long i did 4 hours of work then went back to finish it! feels uwu feels
> 
> tell me if anyone is ooc im scared im so new to the fandom,,,,
> 
> btw i didnt even realise it’s valentines happy valentines 🥰🤍


	5. love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaand its up!! so sorry for all the waiting ):< i’ve been a bit busy and now i’ve word vomited eeeeee anyw i hope you enjoy! 🥺💞

Cleo calls his name when he spaces out for the 6th time at the cashier.

It’s been a week since...that.

Curran is so lost. Hein is all he thinks about.

‘Please love me,’ his mind unhelpfully provides. 

He sighs and turns to Cleo with a small sound of acknowledgement.

Cleo was putting out fresh pastries — the ones Heinwald got for their... whatever it was.  
Curran doesn’t remember as a date. Of course he doesn’t. 

He misses him.

Cleo takes the last piece of cake and places it in front of him.

‘Curran,’ She sounds tentative. ‘Are you in love with Heinwald?’

His answer was without hesitation. ‘Yes.’

He wasn’t shocked when he heard this question. He supposed they way Cleo cheekily told him to get his boy meant he was extremely obvious.

‘Then...what about Heinwald? Does he love you back?’

Curran’s smile feels so pained.

‘Only when he drinks.’

Cleo hums.

‘Curran, maybe it isn’t as bad as it seems.’

Curran sighs. ‘I love him and he only loves me when he’s drunk. How bad can it be?’

Cleo shakes her head. ‘Well then, did you tell Heinwald you love him?’ 

Curran pauses. A flush colours his cheeks and he doesn’t want to admit this, but Cleo would never laugh at him. She’s too much of a supportive mom friend to them and he really appreciates her for that.

‘Once... when he was asleep.’ His voice sounds quiet and his face is burning.

Cleo sighs. ‘Not going to lie, you must tell Heinwald what you feel. You’ll lose him.’

‘I don’t even have him in the first place.’

‘That was just bitter, Curran. Try again.’

‘I... don’t want to lose him, of course, but I-‘

Cleo cuts him of by tapping a fork on the plate.

‘He told you he loves you when he’s drunk. Don’t you think he deserves to know you love him too? Drunk love or not?’

Curran is silent.

‘...I’ll try.’

__

He doesn’t. Even though he wants to.

He saw him with some other guy today, walking together, pressed close as the moved down the street, Hein so deep into the conversation he doesn’t even notice Curran.

His chest throbs with that familiar ache, and it forms dark, gripping roots of jealousy that seem to clutch his throat and make the pits of his stomach churn.

He pulls out the whiskey he got from a client years ago and pours himself a glass.

He sighs when he remembers Heinwald kissing him after the Dragonyule party. He tasted like whiskey too. 

His next shot, and the next, and the ones after, all tasted like bittersweet memories.

He’s tired. He’s so tired.

His eyes droop.

—  
Heinwald finds him slumped on the floor, holding his glass, staring at his books bitterly. 

‘Curran,’ he says. 

He sounds... like something that Curran refuses to acknowledge, something that would give him so much hope the ache in his chest would intensify.

He does not answer.

‘Curran, I cannot carry you. Would you try to get up?’

He ignores him still.

‘Very well.’

He hears the dull thud of Heinwald’s heavy books on his desk and feels the struggle of hands on his sleeves, trying to pull him up.

He sighs and pushes himself up. He shakes off Heinwald’s hands.

Heinwald looks pointedly at him and pushes him towards his room.

Sitting on his bed, he watches as Hein brings a washcloth to him and shuffles around cutely, dipping and tilting his head to fins his stash of headache potions.

He doesn’t want it.

Heinwald turns to him with a raised eyebrow and he belatedly realises that he said it out loud.

He feels Hein’s sigh on his forehead, breathe warm. He grumbles.

‘It is the truth, Curran. You will have an unbearable headache if you do not consume the potion.’

‘No,’ He vaguely hears himself whine, more forcefully now. ‘d-don’t want that.’

Heinwald brings the washcloth to his forehead with a frown. 

‘Well, what is it that you want?’

His thoughts were muddled, heavy like fog, but the words Cleo said floats to the front of his mind.

‘Are you in love with Heinwald?’

He feels a tear slide down his flushed cheeks, and no, he’s crying. He’s crying in front of Heinwald and he’s-

‘Curran,’ Heinwald sounds panicked, ‘Why are you crying?’

He shakes his head and tries (fails) to push Heinwald off. He doesn’t want to talk about it.

‘Are you feeling unwell? Is there any problem? How do-’

His tears streak down his face and he shakes his head.

‘You have to tell me,’ says Heinwald, quite urgently. ‘What’s wrong?’

Curran shakes his head again, but Heinwald doesn’t back off.

His tears fall faster.

‘You,’ Curran slurs, ‘you! You are my problem! I don’t want the potion, I don’t want anything, I just want you, you, and you don’t want me, so leave me alone!’

Heinwald takes a small step back.

‘No, Curran, you are drunk. You-‘

A hard stare from Curran makes him stop.

‘You don’t mean it when you tell me you love me when you’re drunk. You won’t even listen to what I’m saying- I’m saying that I love you! I’ve been in love with you for so long and all you do is want me when you’re drunk! That’s why I’ve been taking care of you, not because I’m only a good partner, but because I’m in love with you!’

Heinwald stares silently.

‘I want to love you all the time. I want to love you when you’re drunk, even more so when you’re sober. But you keep forgetting, you run away, you pretend nothing happened. What can I do? I want to hold you with you knowing. I want to walk you home with you remembering. I want to kiss you without tasting the alcohol on your breath. I just want to love you always, but you only love me when you’re drunk. I miss you, all the time, and if you don’t miss me back, just leave me alone.’ 

He flops back into the covers and hides his face in a pillow. 

He hears Heinwald’s shoes tap quickly on the floor as the door closes softly.

He doesn’t let himself think that the sniffles that he heard might’ve also been Heinwald’s.

——

Curran... doesn’t know what to do.

He opened his heart and spoke his mind and Heinwald left. He left a note, though. He was leaving for two weeks to attend to some nobleman he doesn’t care about.

‘What about me?’ He had selfishly thought. But it’s okay. He feels lighter than ever now. Heinwald has his duties to attend to. Not baby him and feed him headache potion.

He doesn’t know his answer though. Heinwald may not be the best drunk, but he’s still his partner, his friend. Curran cannot think of any reasons why he’d break off their friendship because of this. So he tries to forget.

Two weeks. That’d be enough time for him to pretend nothing happened. Like Heinwald does. Like Heinwald did.

‘Hungry,’ his mind supplies. ‘Cleo’s for breakfast.’ 

He rolls his eyes at himself. Cleo’s it is.

He’ll be okay.

—

A month since Dragonyule, 3 weeks since the confession.

Curran is... not quite okay.

Heinwald’s back, but when Curran went to greet him, he simply nodded in acknowledgment. And left for the lab.

He was expecting a lot of different reactions. He may have been angry. Scared. Confused. 

But not this. Whatever this was.

It leaves him feeling cold and hopeless.

Maybe he’s been lying to himself. He doesn’t want Heinwald to forget. He doesn’t want to let him go.

Maybe they weren’t meant to be. But if Heinwald ever wants to come to him, he knows his arms will still be open, however weary he is.

—  
Two months since Dragonyule.

And he’s standing in front of Heinwald’s door.

He had asked for him, according to the girl they helped last time. He has no idea why he called him here.

The golden handle to Hein’s lab glitters a bit in the afternoon light, and Curran’s hand rests heavy on it, pondering.

He sighs - and opens the door.

Heinwald is there at the desk, scribbling something, glasses drooping low, looking as beautiful as ever. His hair catches the afternoon light’s glint. From the window shines a bold golden yellow, illuminating the room.

Curran missed him. He misses him so much, but if Hein doesn’t miss him back, he would content himself to this wistful longing. 

He stubbornly refuses to walk forward. He clears his throat.

‘Hein. You asked for me?’

Heinwald jerked upright, startled, and furrows his brows when his quill made a small scratch on the paper. 

He’s cute.

‘Oh, uh, yes,’ Heinwald replied, hands flailing before setting his quill down. He gestures for him to walk into the room. 

Every part of him aches to be closer to Hein, to have him in his arms, but his feet stay firmly planted at the doorway. He wants to tell him he loves him. But he doesn’t. He asks if Hein needs anything.

‘Huh?’ Hein seems bewildered, head tipped cutely to the side. ‘Close the door, please.’

Curran’s hand seemed to be glued to the handle. He let go of it hesitantly and stepped into the room without protest. Heinwald looks like something he doesn’t want to name. Something that would give him hope, make his eyes light up again.

‘Hein. Did you need my help?’

‘Come here.’ Heinwald sounds hopeful, the usual edge around his voice softened, and Curran’s heart lurches in his chest. He lowers his gaze to the carpet as the flush creeps up his face.

He takes small, tentative steps towards the desk.

‘So,’ Curran pauses again, fiddling with his belt strap. He sounds quieter than he expected. ‘W-what did you need me, um, for?’

Heinwald looks up at him. Blond hair mussed, eyes avoiding his gaze, and Hein seems... fond.

‘I love you.’

Curran swears his heart stops. He hears his breath hitch, and sees Heinwald’s face, ever beautiful and ethereal. His vision swims.

‘D-don’t say things you don’t mean, Heinwald, I-‘  
He hears his desperate voice, tears building up, and Heinwald cuts him off by standing up.

‘Who says I did not mean it?’ Hein asked, voice soft, hands coming up to wipe away his tears. ‘I am not drunk now. This is sober me, telling you, Curran, that I love you.’

Curran blinks slowly, a sniffle escaping him. ‘Then why tell me now? Why did you tell me earlier? When you were sober? When we stopped the execution? When we were at the cliffs, at Chelle’s party? Why couldn’t sober you tell me?’

Heinwald lowers his gaze towards a pile of books on his desk. ‘I... I was scared.’ He shushes Curran and continues.

‘To be absolutely truthful, I remember most of the time we spent when I was drunk. I remember telling you that I loved you and you carrying me to bed. I was surprised that drunk me speaks so casually.’

Curran tries to catch his gaze, urgent and pleading. ‘Then why-‘

‘You never told me that you loved me back. I thought you were simply dealing with me because you were a good partner.’

‘Heinwald-‘

‘I always tell you that I love you when I am drunk. Because I can always blame it on me being drunk. And I’m sorry, Curran. I never thought-‘ His voice wavers, and Curran rounds the desk and pulls him closer.

‘I never thought you would love me back,’ Heinwald says quietly. ‘You never said it back. I never meant to hurt your feelings.’

Heinwald looks up, eyes glistening. ‘Sober me loves you so much more drunk me.’

Curran holds his breath and clutches at Heinwald, hands smoothing down his back, hugging tightly as if he has to make sure that he is here, he is real. He sighs softly, and his face breaks into a small, content smile.

He holds him tight, Hein’s head tucked into the crook of his neck, and presses a small kiss to his hairline.

‘I love you too, Hein. This was a secret between me and sleepy Hein.’

Heinwald smiles into his neck. ‘Awake Hein knows now. What are you going to do for not keeping your secret? How will you make it up to sleepy Hein?’

Curran just laughs. ‘Love him even more than I’ve ever had. Love him always.’

Heinwald snuggles into his embrace. ‘You better.’

**Author's Note:**

> you can always find me on twitter as well as  
> tumblr!!


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